When I Grow Up

Melissa: whenever i meet any of victor's family friends, they ask me when im going to become a doctor
me: lol
u should say that you're going to be a brain surgeon
or an astronaut
that would be amazing
Melissa: hahah
omg i kno
rocket scientist
i might as well introduce myself as 'jiminy cricket'

1001 Places We've Already Seen

me: im so glad we moved around, even tho we went to increasingly shittier places
i think it made us smarter
Melissa: hahaha yes
it totally does
it makes such a difference
me: definitely
Melissa: yeah i think u should find someone who identifies with 2 states
or even 3
me: so let's count how many states that we identify with
california
michigan
florida
new jersey
Melissa: illinois
me: illinois
i totally didn't even realize that
Melissa: texas
me: LOL
Melissa: idaho
mexico
me: i identify the most with New Jersey
bc we have a huge expensive house
that is a waste of money
Melissa: i identify the most with north carolina
b/c thats where justin timberlake is from
tarheels

Improvised Sisters

Me: i secretly had a huge crush on the guy who fucked up
Melissa: oh yeah he was hot in an anthony bourdain way

Me: wait so i totally loved the gay guy too
Melissa: oh i knowww
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjzLYPSu9rQ&feature=related
lolol omg 1:57
Me: er my computer is being slow
Melissa: oh it was just another moment when the gay guy was being gay

Me: did u know that the blonde guy from Second City is a teacher at iO?
Melissa: omg cool
ur dream
Me: secret huge crush on the blonde guy
Melissa: he is such a frankenstein
Me: i swear i saw him on the train
but the one reason why i thought it might not be him is cuz his clothes were uglier than i think i would expect out of him
like, really bad jeans
he was like almost pedophile-ish
yeah, definitely him
Melissa: 110%

Me: steve carrell met his wife in improv class
Melissa: that is the funnest
what if u marry steven colbert

Past His Prime

Me: Wait, Bryan Greenberg's concert was the worst thing I have ever seen. It was worse than Yanni.
Melissa: Yanni was the best.

Me: The opening act was so bad.
Melissa: The opening act was so much better than Bryan Greenberg.

Melissa: All of his songs sound the same.
Me: It sounds like my air conditioner.
Melissa: No, your air conditioner is way better because it's soothing.

Melissa: p.s.
bryan greenberg
Me: bryan greenberg totally ruined bryan greenberg
Melissa: i know
he spoiled everything
he was air
dust
he was a big dust bunny
on stage
with a guitar
Me: bryan is underneath my bed right now
he's also in the corner
he's also in my bagless vacuum
Melissa: he is the space behind the TV

Me: i just wanted to go to Schubas cuz it rhymes with tubas
Melissa: oh i know
that was totally my reasoning too

American Girl Dolls

Melissa: Rebecca should come with pinched pennies.

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Melissa: That one is Filipino. Her name is probably Eunice.

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Melissa: I like the dogs because they look primitive.

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Melissa: That's cute, she looks like the Hulk.

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Melissa: Nard-Dog.

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Just Like You American Girl Doll
Light skin, black hair, brown eyes
#4 in the catalogue

Melissa: You should name her Molina. Like Alfred Molina.

Me: I like Addy's story. And I feel like I identify with Josefina's culture.
Melissa: #4 has no story, she's just like us.

Transportation and buildings

Melissa: Victor's friend drove through Santana Row with a megaphone.

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On the Red Line, between North/Clybourn and Clark/Division
Melissa: I feel like I'm on Willy Wonka's boat.

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Waiting at Howard for the Purple line train
Melissa: Mantengase alejado de la puerta.

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Inside Noyes St. Cafe
Melissa: I'm going to design my Sims house like this.

Thoughts on Food and Men

Melissa: he was like "what was the first movie you've ever seen alone?"
and i was like what do you mean??

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At Starbucks:
Melissa: Can I get a side of a sense of humor?

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At Blu Sushi:
Melissa: This food is a textural symphony.

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Melissa: Flo Rida would get a 0 on his IBs

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Melissa: Did you know that a seagull pooped into Victor's mouth?
And his first reaction was to put a bunch of sand in his mouth.

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Melissa: Most people are normal and like to try new things. But you picked the jester out of the deck of cards.

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Melissa: i mean he's pretty convenient
and a nice catch
Me: You mean a 7 eleven
Melissa: 7 eleven whose icee machine is broke

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Melissa: im going to bring my cookbook haha
Me: u mean The Notebook
Melissa: yes lolol
wait did u know that my cookbook has a picture of my future wedding dress on it
i glued it on

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Melissa: my life is so much better with victor
it is so safe
and filled with fluffy marshmallows

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Me: i dont think i can marry an asian
Melissa: i feel like u should just try it
maybe an asian guy adopted by black parents?

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Me: there is a pattern to my life
seriously
im gonna grow up
never marry
get a dog
upgrade my netflix to 4-at-a-time
and then plan my funeral
Melissa: hey it sounds like a nice life to me
u are going to be like that guy in amelie with the glass bones

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Melissa: chicago is perfect for u
not too big of a city to make u feel like ur life got turned upside down
Me: oh yeah totally
Melissa: but just enough food to make u really excited

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Melissa: did u hear me whimper last night?
Me: no
Melissa: cuz in my dream I was crying like craaaazyyy