Jury Duty

Melissa: have u ever had to do jury duty?
me: nope
Melissa: ur so lucky that uve never been summoned
i dont wanna go
lol
me: i know
Melissa: its tomorrow
im going to eat le peep before i go
cuz i fucking deserve it
me: lol omg yeah u are totally going to le peep beforehand
i wonder what the case will be
Melissa: what if i show up for jury duty and judge judy is the judge
me: omg
best
Melissa: when i do jury duty do i have to discuss with the other jury members to whether he is innocent or not
or is that with just serious cases
me: i dont know
u watch a video i think
Melissa: haha oh with celebs right?
me: lol yes
like corey feldman
Melissa: i remember we watched something like that in american gov class
that is so american
to have celebs in the video
me: oh i know
Melissa: what if it is the next OJ
omg
i would die
i would kill myself right then and there
maybe i will get to be on fox news
and talk about the case
me: LOL
u would get on the Today Show
ann curry would interview you
right after she interviews a boy who lost his hands in a lemonade stand accident
Melissa: omg i hope so
my answer to everything will be 'ur pretty'
me: she is so pretty
omg
i hope that the case u are going to is the trial of michael jackson's doctor
Melissa: HAHA
omg
i know
i would jump out of the building
it is the only thing to do

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Update:

Melissa: omgomg
jury duty got cancelled
best day ever
!!!!

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Update:

Melissa: I am scared they are going to summon me again
it is a looming monster

Priorities

Melissa: omg lol
he is funny
too bad he's fat

To Be Honest

me: i drank arizona pomegranate green tea for lunch
and the cap smells weird
Melissa: its probably ur bad breath

The Breakup

me: i would break up with charlyne yi
ugly
Melissa: so rough
michael cera should go to uc davis
all the asian girls here are way hotter than charlyne

Obsessed

me: on myspace, the Improvised Shakespeare Company is a 28 yr old male
Melissa: hahah they have a myspace?? lol
do they have an asianavenue
i like how they are there for 'networking and serious relationships'
can i get into a serious relationship with improvised shakespeare co?
me: Improvised Shakespeare is Single
and aquarius
Melissa: lollll
do u get along with aquarius
me: mommy is aquarius
so
not really

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me: btw greg was the best part about the show
but i doubt we'll ever talk much about him
Melissa: haha oh i kno
cuz hes gay
and he will never be into us
plus he has the neck of a giraffe

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Melissa: WHO IS UR CRUSH
its bugging me
doesnt it make u sad though
that u can't even find an ounce of information
i mean u can even google me
and find who i am
i am more important than him
me: lololol
that's SO weird
i know
why
it makes him so sexy
Melissa: hahahha
or old
either one
im leaning towards old

me: maybe God wont let us find info on him cuz im gonna marry him
Melissa: hahah i know
after he divorces his wife of 10 years of course
and figures out the custody of his 2 kids
(probz)

me: my dream is to marry him
and
when he has a special show in nyc
i would fly with him
and hang out with karina all day and then see the show at night
Melissa: lolll
me: and then eat at a diner afterwards until 6am
Melissa: stop it ur butterflies will explode
overpopulation

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me: wait
do u realize that we have been talking about improvised shakespeare for a million hours
Melissa: yes
billion hours
to be exact

Hiring Freeze

me: what if Esther was a temp in the office
Melissa: haahha
u walk by her, to ask her for your messages
she says 'im not like the other kids, mommy'

Unimpressed

Melissa: What do they expect when they holler at girls? What do they expect when they are listening to their ring tone on the train over and over even though it is only 30 seconds?