Orientation

Melissa: and um jesus' face is outside our house?
at first i didnt see anything
but then i looked at it far away and i was like WTF
i got chilllsss theyre multiplyin'

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Melissa: meoww
im hungry

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me: so there is this bday party on campus for the dean
Melissa: have u talked with the dean before
me: yes
Melissa: dean of the entire school?
like the Dean dean?
me: dean of the business school
Melissa: pantalons fancie

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Melissa: i think mommy definitely believes that u are a virgin

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Melissa: u remember that moment in spider man when hes walking down the street really emo and u think to urself 'i cant believe this is happening'
theres a ton of those moments in Drag Me to Hell

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Melissa: HAHA i just laughed at the german title of he's just not into you
"Er steht einfach nicht auf Dich!"
u might as well call it 'NEINE NEINE NEINE NEINE!!!!'

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Melissa: i had a dream that i was looking into a mirror, and i felt something in my eye so i put my finger in it and then out came an entire fake lash
and then i noticed that that same eye was like looking off into the upper corner
like a shih tzu

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me: im so glad that im not one of those people who never dreams
Melissa: theres ppl like that?
victor's dreams are always so simple and happy and adventurous
he never has fucked up dreams
he always dreams hes like a superhero who has to kill all the intelligent robots in town or something

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Melissa: coup de foudre
(love at first sight)

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Melissa: i had a dream that i was graduating, and my graduation was held in a church
and then i remember thinking to myself 'umm i dont have a job right now. what do i do?'
what does that mean?
oh yeah and for some reason there was no photography allowed in the church
there was this guy policing around and stopping ppl from taking pictures
what does that mean
me: oh interesting
Melissa: analyze

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me: ok sorry im still thinking about your dream
Melissa: lolol k
u dont have to try to get a 7
a 5 is good

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Melissa: do u think ur bi?
ive been thinking about it alot and i think i might actually be bi
but i dont want to be one cuz i hate the word bi
i will never post it up on facebook
i bet mommy's bi

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Melissa: omg i know what scene from constantine is my fav
actually im debating
wait no im pretty sure which one i like
the scene where lucifer pulls out the tar from constantine's lungs
so he can't go to heaven

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Melissa: omg so my boss just came back from france
and she bought snacks
she brought this really delicious platter of these really thin pretzels and cheese and some sort of delicious meat

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Melissa: so this weekend me and my friends went to dim sum in sac, and afterwards we went to old sac and went to this candy shop where you can get tons of free candy, and we decided to buy salt and vinegar crickets
it tastes like the flaky stuff in popcorn
oh and at the dim sum place victor walked into a stall to go pee and accidently walked in on this old white guy pooing and my other guy friend was looking over his shoulder at the time

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Melissa: lolol my cmn105 teacher just sent my class an email:
Hi 105ers,
A student in class pointed out that when I call you 105ers, it looks like
I'm calling you all "losers". I found that very funny. I don't think you're
losers. 'Sorry for any subliminal confusion or insult you may have experienced.
Happy Day.
Virginia

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Melissa: i remember u used to break out all the time in hives during high school
it was so weird
but then i got them
weeird

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Melissa: food <3

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Melissa: the younger mind works in mysterious ways

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me: so i totally try to look young and fresh on the weekends now
i dont want to look too formal
Melissa: are u wearing skorts and flip flops
or jelly shoes on special occasions

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Melissa: i want to go to michigan but i want endless food to be there also

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Melissa: in the movie i thought he looked disgusting at first and i wanted to vomit cuz he looked totally like white trash
but by the end i was like <3 b/c he gets an asian gf

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Melissa: i always imagined u with an older guy
but then again, i feel like u would just make fun of him all the time

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Melissa: what is real
does real taste better

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Melissa: theres this one coffee i get at the coho and its called 'five sisters' and its made by five sisters in mexico or something
and its my fav
me: im pretty sure it's made by five sisters in china
Melissa: ahahha
five sisters in davis
probably 3 brothers

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Melissa: meoowwww

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Melissa: omg guess what im eating right now tho
me: crepe?
Melissa: no something cuter
lunchable
they were selling it for $1 at safeway
i got 2

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Melissa: i cesar milan'd his ass

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Melissa: i bet ur afraid that hes going to get a gf before u get a bf
and that means he wins
he wins at life
he is such a winnerrr

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Melissa: i bet he is sad inside sometimes
actually no,
hes like a retarded kid who doesnt know hes retarded
lolol
and people will never tell him
b/c that is so politically incorrect
me: i DID try to tell him
all the time
that he was retarded
Melissa: haha
but his brain does not expand that way
hes special
thats why i feel sad, cuz im sorta embarassed by him

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Melissa: muuuah
oh i totally just went poo again too
i like pooing at work