News Feed

  
Melissa: Did you see that picture of her?

Me: Yeah.

Melissa: She looks so different in that photo. She looks European.

Me: Yeah.

Melissa: (whispers) She looks fat.

Vocab Lesson

Melissa: What's the difference between banana peppers and pepperoncini?

Me: I think they're the same thing.

Melissa: Oh really?

Me: Yeah. But at Subway when I order it, I only call it banana peppers.

Melissa: Yeah I think if you called it pepperoncini at Subway they would be so confused. They would be like, "Vhat?"

Pete Burns

Me: He looks like a mix between Megan Fox and Monica Bellucci.

Melissa: And the goldfish from American Dad

Freedom

Melissa: It must feel soooo good to get out of jail. So much freedom. You must feel like you could do anything, like drugs.