Magic!

Melissa: omg

i forgot to tell u

i saw THE CUTEST DOG INTHE WORLD on the way to vegas

we were at a rest stop

me: what kind of dog??

9:51 PM Melissa: and i saw a little pekinese walking around without a leash

Melissa: it was orangey

Melissa: and it belonged to this mexican family who i guess goes around to rest stops and fixes the vending machines

Melissa: omg it was SOO well behaved!!

Melissa: it was just walking around looking at people, but not too far from the owner

Melissa: and it saw me FREAKING out at how cute it is

and it just walked up to me

and let me pet it

me: omg

Melissa: until i died

me: was it like

hey

u can pet me

Melissa: yesss

me: it said "u"

Melissa: it was like hii

Melissa: and then the best part

Melissa: was when the family was leaving

9:53 PM the owner just looked at it and said its name quietly

and the dog understood and then jumped into the car

so cute

me: ummmm

9:54 PM was that dog professor mcgonagall

Melissa: LOL

omg probably

me: and was the mexican family actually a british wizard family

9:55 PM Melissa: haahahha

omg probably

Melissa: the vending machines were probably an opening to el hogwartos

Last Day of Work

Melissa: hii
how is life
me: it's fiiine
i have my period
Melissa: me too
we're blood sisters

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Melissa: maggiee
this is my last day at work
they made me a banner
theres a picture of michigan on it
and an airplane
and a picture of a plate of veggies
(dunno why) but i like it
and a picture of a cartoon house lolol!
me: is their a tucan bird on it too
Melissa: omg no unfortunately
but there is the word 'grazie' in a cursive font

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me: u could take the Mega Bus back to michigan
Melissa: wait what if i get stabbed

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Melissa: whaat
why is he takin a bus
is he poor
i thought he was rich

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Melissa: why do ppl like weird smells
maybe the same reason dogs eat their poo

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me: btw he doesnt look as retarded as that photo
that photo makes his face kinda goonie
Melissa: i will probably not recognize him then
b/c i totally have the impression of a goonie in my mind
he almost looks like this guy i know named julio

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Melissa: i am rich bich

Planning a trip to Chicago, etc.

Melissa: omg what is the first place u are going to take me to i am so excited for chicago u have no idea
cuz i realized that chicago looks like a CITYYY

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Melissa: omg if i get a 4.0 can u treat me out to a fancy dinner at pantalons fancie

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Melissa: omg we should try penis meat

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Melissa: im not even going to graduate after this
the moment i arrive in chicago my GPA will drop to 1.0

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me: my bosses gave me a bouquet of purple tulips for Administrative Assistant's day
Melissa: LOL thats so depressing they were secretly telling u to shrivel up and die under your desk

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Melissa: u kno what i am really craving and have been craving for a few weeks now a SANDWHICH can u just give me a sebastopol right now




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Melissa: omg so i had another weird dream i had a dream that it was kinda like the end of the world and the world itself was attacking ppl inside of it
like papers on the floor would come alive and try to hurt you
so what i did was i kept hitting the papers with some sort of object until they wouldn't move anymore
oh and there were like these flying bombs that would land randomly and i remember there was one point where a bomb landed right behind us
and when the bomb hit the ground i flew up with my balloons and then i landed softly on the ground

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Melissa: SANDWHICHES

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Melissa: taxi!! lol! ive never taken a taxi!

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Melissa: is there a grocery store near ur place? im totally gonna cook u dinner like a good asian wife
and by dinner i mean hamburger helper

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me: i was looking up ghost tours
Melissa: omg ghost tours yes we have to do it
me: but only if u get a 4.0
Melissa: omgg i kno nerveuse what if i dont i will be sad if i dont get a 4.0
then i have to walk ahead of u in the ghost tour

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Melissa: why are u so excited? u live there

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Melissa: when u are at work i am going to stare out the window like a cat while drinking coffee

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Melissa: oh guess what im a seniorrrr

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me: our MI house is only worth $335k isn't that so sad we are so poor
Melissa: whaaat omg i remember when i used to think 500k was lame
does this mean that i should get financial aid cuz our house is only worth 300k

Afternoon Delight

Melissa: oh btw did u know that this dog is in my living
room right now
like not even joking
his name is armani
me: i cant believe that dog's name is armani
they should change it's name
to rufus
or
Georgina
Melissa: aww georgina
totally
its a boy tho
its probably gay anyways

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me: so i work with a database that has the personal
information of pretty much all northwestern alums
Melissa: omg me too
i can look up everyone's gpa
i should start a dumbest ppl at uc davis group
and post the lowest gpas

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Melissa: did u know that i frickin love going to work+school
now
i dunno why maybe im on drugs or osmething
theres nothing to explain it

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Melissa: i am so human
the humanest

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Melissa: ~*crush*~


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Melissa: i feel like that was us
singing 'hashpipe' with the lyrics 'hashbrowns'
we had such a laughh ataaackk
on the way to ann arbor
that whole trip was such a blur b/c of that frickin song

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Melissa: omg so tired
i just refilled the water thingie
that thing is so heavy

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Melissa: like the vampire is actually a boy who got
castrated, and she was living with a pedophile?

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Melissa: someone brought in cookies
yum

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Melissa: i bet father oreilly actually gave us a billion dollars

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Melissa: have u ever had eczema

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Melissa: i feel like daddy is invincible

Orientation

Melissa: and um jesus' face is outside our house?
at first i didnt see anything
but then i looked at it far away and i was like WTF
i got chilllsss theyre multiplyin'

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Melissa: meoww
im hungry

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me: so there is this bday party on campus for the dean
Melissa: have u talked with the dean before
me: yes
Melissa: dean of the entire school?
like the Dean dean?
me: dean of the business school
Melissa: pantalons fancie

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Melissa: i think mommy definitely believes that u are a virgin

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Melissa: u remember that moment in spider man when hes walking down the street really emo and u think to urself 'i cant believe this is happening'
theres a ton of those moments in Drag Me to Hell

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Melissa: HAHA i just laughed at the german title of he's just not into you
"Er steht einfach nicht auf Dich!"
u might as well call it 'NEINE NEINE NEINE NEINE!!!!'

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Melissa: i had a dream that i was looking into a mirror, and i felt something in my eye so i put my finger in it and then out came an entire fake lash
and then i noticed that that same eye was like looking off into the upper corner
like a shih tzu

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me: im so glad that im not one of those people who never dreams
Melissa: theres ppl like that?
victor's dreams are always so simple and happy and adventurous
he never has fucked up dreams
he always dreams hes like a superhero who has to kill all the intelligent robots in town or something

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Melissa: coup de foudre
(love at first sight)

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Melissa: i had a dream that i was graduating, and my graduation was held in a church
and then i remember thinking to myself 'umm i dont have a job right now. what do i do?'
what does that mean?
oh yeah and for some reason there was no photography allowed in the church
there was this guy policing around and stopping ppl from taking pictures
what does that mean
me: oh interesting
Melissa: analyze

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me: ok sorry im still thinking about your dream
Melissa: lolol k
u dont have to try to get a 7
a 5 is good

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Melissa: do u think ur bi?
ive been thinking about it alot and i think i might actually be bi
but i dont want to be one cuz i hate the word bi
i will never post it up on facebook
i bet mommy's bi

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Melissa: omg i know what scene from constantine is my fav
actually im debating
wait no im pretty sure which one i like
the scene where lucifer pulls out the tar from constantine's lungs
so he can't go to heaven

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Melissa: omg so my boss just came back from france
and she bought snacks
she brought this really delicious platter of these really thin pretzels and cheese and some sort of delicious meat

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Melissa: so this weekend me and my friends went to dim sum in sac, and afterwards we went to old sac and went to this candy shop where you can get tons of free candy, and we decided to buy salt and vinegar crickets
it tastes like the flaky stuff in popcorn
oh and at the dim sum place victor walked into a stall to go pee and accidently walked in on this old white guy pooing and my other guy friend was looking over his shoulder at the time

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Melissa: lolol my cmn105 teacher just sent my class an email:
Hi 105ers,
A student in class pointed out that when I call you 105ers, it looks like
I'm calling you all "losers". I found that very funny. I don't think you're
losers. 'Sorry for any subliminal confusion or insult you may have experienced.
Happy Day.
Virginia

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Melissa: i remember u used to break out all the time in hives during high school
it was so weird
but then i got them
weeird

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Melissa: food <3

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Melissa: the younger mind works in mysterious ways

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me: so i totally try to look young and fresh on the weekends now
i dont want to look too formal
Melissa: are u wearing skorts and flip flops
or jelly shoes on special occasions

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Melissa: i want to go to michigan but i want endless food to be there also

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Melissa: in the movie i thought he looked disgusting at first and i wanted to vomit cuz he looked totally like white trash
but by the end i was like <3 b/c he gets an asian gf

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Melissa: i always imagined u with an older guy
but then again, i feel like u would just make fun of him all the time

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Melissa: what is real
does real taste better

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Melissa: theres this one coffee i get at the coho and its called 'five sisters' and its made by five sisters in mexico or something
and its my fav
me: im pretty sure it's made by five sisters in china
Melissa: ahahha
five sisters in davis
probably 3 brothers

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Melissa: meoowwww

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Melissa: omg guess what im eating right now tho
me: crepe?
Melissa: no something cuter
lunchable
they were selling it for $1 at safeway
i got 2

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Melissa: i cesar milan'd his ass

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Melissa: i bet ur afraid that hes going to get a gf before u get a bf
and that means he wins
he wins at life
he is such a winnerrr

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Melissa: i bet he is sad inside sometimes
actually no,
hes like a retarded kid who doesnt know hes retarded
lolol
and people will never tell him
b/c that is so politically incorrect
me: i DID try to tell him
all the time
that he was retarded
Melissa: haha
but his brain does not expand that way
hes special
thats why i feel sad, cuz im sorta embarassed by him

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Melissa: muuuah
oh i totally just went poo again too
i like pooing at work