Thoughts on Food and Men

Melissa: he was like "what was the first movie you've ever seen alone?"
and i was like what do you mean??

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At Starbucks:
Melissa: Can I get a side of a sense of humor?

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At Blu Sushi:
Melissa: This food is a textural symphony.

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Melissa: Flo Rida would get a 0 on his IBs

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Melissa: Did you know that a seagull pooped into Victor's mouth?
And his first reaction was to put a bunch of sand in his mouth.

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Melissa: Most people are normal and like to try new things. But you picked the jester out of the deck of cards.

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Melissa: i mean he's pretty convenient
and a nice catch
Me: You mean a 7 eleven
Melissa: 7 eleven whose icee machine is broke

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Melissa: im going to bring my cookbook haha
Me: u mean The Notebook
Melissa: yes lolol
wait did u know that my cookbook has a picture of my future wedding dress on it
i glued it on

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Melissa: my life is so much better with victor
it is so safe
and filled with fluffy marshmallows

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Me: i dont think i can marry an asian
Melissa: i feel like u should just try it
maybe an asian guy adopted by black parents?

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Me: there is a pattern to my life
seriously
im gonna grow up
never marry
get a dog
upgrade my netflix to 4-at-a-time
and then plan my funeral
Melissa: hey it sounds like a nice life to me
u are going to be like that guy in amelie with the glass bones

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Melissa: chicago is perfect for u
not too big of a city to make u feel like ur life got turned upside down
Me: oh yeah totally
Melissa: but just enough food to make u really excited

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Melissa: did u hear me whimper last night?
Me: no
Melissa: cuz in my dream I was crying like craaaazyyy